Thilltribe

the grass isn't greener

  • Home
  • Family Friendly
  • Blog
  • Kindergarten Bliss
  • Food Galore
  • Contact Me

Mid life Crisis??

September 16, 2018 by Cayce Leave a Comment

I have thinking about changes I could be making in my life lately. You know, I really think you get to an age and you start contemplating how can my life be better. Am I living it the way that I want it to be?

Some people may react in a certain way and call it a “mid life crisis”. I am going to to call it a mid life evaluation.

I am not really in crisis mode but I am in a serious contemplation about who I am and where I want to be.

I had the opportunity to go to a different church today. It was wonderful. I felt the spirit. The tone was welcoming. The feel was uplifting. The music was enjoyable. There was so much going for this place. The thought crossed my mind “I could go to church here”.

I quickly had a few realization related to MY feelings and MY testimony. Being a member of  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints isn’t always easy. There are sacrifices to be made and it can be difficult to live in the world but not be “part” of the world. It is a church that can require much of its patrons. However, it also provides so much for me as well. It also gives me incredible strength, comfort and peace in  world that can be confusing. It has allowed me to look out side of myself and think about the lives of others.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has not only gifted me with an incredible life on this Earth, I have been given a promise of a eternal principles and ordinances.

I was reminded today that the knowledge of being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is a wonderful blessing. It isn’t an easy path I have chosen. I can be ostracized, made fun of, dismissed, mocked etc…but the love, compassion and understanding I have gained has completely changed my life. I am a completely different person thanks to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

There is no reason for me to have a mid life crisis. I have built my foundation upon the sure foundation of our Lord and Savior. So, when my life feels in crisis, I turn to my Heavenly Father for added strength and guidance.

How grateful I am to be reminded of this in such a sweet and powerful way! I was also very blessed to hear some amazing things going on in our community.

Have a great week!

A mother’s heart

July 2, 2017 by Cayce Leave a Comment

I have often thought of all a parent has to do. Since I am not a father…I am only going to comment on the mother side of things.

There is a depth of emotional commitment that is soul wrenching. Now, I would like to up this level of commitment a notch and talk about adopting children from foster care.

I am proud to be able to take children who need a home. I am grateful that my husband and I have been united in parenting children who needed our family.

We agreed to help children. We agreed to comfort children. We agreed to love, nurture and support families as they struggle through their trials.

What we didn’t agree to all of the baggage that comes with having these beautiful children in our lives. Some of the trials we have faced with these children have been gut wrenchingly hard. They have started with feelings of abandonment. They have continued with fear, anger and questions. Questions like…”what am I not good enough for my (insert birth parents name)?” “what did I do wrong?” “Why couldn’t they love me enough?”

Think about that for a second. How do you ever “get over” feelings like this? How can you (as a parent) ever make this right for them?

Well, many people will tell you to just love them. Just love the mess out of them and it will work out. I don’t mean to burst any bubbles but you are so wrong. Loving these children is the easy part. Dealing with their baggage is the hard part.

Now, I am going to continue on with some of there baggage. This list is not everything we face and endure but it is some of it:

  • running away
  • fighting
  • sexual reactivity
  • perpetrating on others
  • stealing (money, clothes, anything you have that they may want)
  • hoarding (clothes, FOOD, trash…you name it)
  • Urinating but not in the bathroom
  • issues with feces and yeah…I am sure you get the idea
  • lying
  • agressivness
  • ANGER
  • rebellion
  • ADD/ADHD
  • mental health issues
  • drug / alcohol related brain injuries
  • secondary trauma
  • reactive attachment disorder (oh man, this one is huge. look it up)

These are a handful of issues that we have dealt with multiple children some at the same time. If you think only love will fix this I have a house full of children you can come and try your strategy on. 🙂

These issues take time. They take repetition. They take therapy. They take love, compassion, and clear rules and boundaries. They take work.

But, you know what? Everyone one of these children are worth it and more. Each one of them have infinite worth and value. They deserve the very best life has to offer.

Some days, I have a hard time going from Step A to Step B. I forget what I have been taught. I react instead of respond. I can meet the needs of one or two kiddos but struggle to meet the needs of 17+ people.

Keep in mind, we also have full time jobs outside of the home.

Now, do I tell you this to try and gain your pity? NO WAY! (Although, a Go Fund OUR FAMILY would be nice sometimes) Haha

I tell you this to let you know we have chosen to open our hearts and home to those who need us. But more importantly, we need them. We need them to teach us about another aspect of life. We need them to show us the amount of strength it takes to do more than just survive this life. We need them to teach us how to grow and learn. We need them just as much as they need us.

That is the same for all children. We need them to show us the joy in life. To remind us of the simple pleasures. I will never forget the first time I got  genuine smile from each of my children. Whether I gave birth to them or not. That moment is imprinted on my heart. These are the moments I fight for as a mom.

I fight for my children to experience true unadu

lterated joy. I fight for them to see that can be successful. I fight for them to realize they have infinite worth and value. I fight for them to see they can be loved by many people. I fight for them to know they always have a home here, anytime.

A mother’s role is divine. A mother’s love is unique. It is amazing how I can still love children that constantly berate me, “hate” me and push me away. But I do. I do love them. I listen to them and I hurt for them.

I also hurt for me sometimes.

Why do I do it, you may ask yourself. Why would someone put themselves through this kind of pain and angst over and over again?

Because I have realized that Heavenly Father never gives up on me. He is always there for me. This is crucial as I realize He recognizes the importance of being a parent. He is the ultimate parent. I want to strive to be like Him.

So, I do my best to fight a good fight. I do my best to be the parent I need to be. That doesn’t always happen. I am not always my best but I strive to be each and every day. I am confident that I have always done my very best.

It is a crazy road we each take to get where we need to be. It is hard to be molded into who He needs us to be. But I am willing. I am willing to give it my all

and help as many children as need me. I am willing to be molded and shaped to become a strong mother in Zion.

A mother’ heart is deep and vast. It is meant to give love unconditionally over and over and over again. I am so glad to be a mother to so many beautiful children

who had some rough challenges in their early developmental years. I ache of them to feel that divine love that is available to all of us through the atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ.

I look forward to the day that they are received in His arms and all of their past hurts, trials and struggles are gone.

Meanwhile, I will keep holding them tight. I will try my best to support them. I will love them through their tears. I will be the mom they need.

Cayce

Wife. Mom of 21. Grandma. Friend.Teacher. Daughter. Sister. Aunt. Great-Aunt. Niece. Cousin. Blogger. Epicenter of a life that is challenging, fun, inspirational, devastating, tiring, overwhelming, silly, mind boggling, busy, calm, enchanting and all mine!

  • Home
  • Family Friendly
  • Blog
  • Kindergarten Bliss
  • Food Galore
  • Contact Me

Search

Categories

Featured Category

You found a …WHAT??!!!

Mid life Crisis??

healthy living mama

Buy it on Amazon

Subscribe to our mailing list

* indicates required

Archived posts

Shop LDSBookstore.com

Copyright © 2021 · Blog Design By Rhonda Jai Designs · Admin

Copyright © 2021 · Damask Twelve C on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in