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Another Chapter…Another Baby…Wait…What?

February 19, 2019 by Cayce Leave a Comment

Well, we thought we were done having babies in our home. We had settled comfortably with the fact that we are nearing 50, and we could now focus on on our grandchildren and raising those in our home.

Some interesting experiences started to happen though. We received a phone call that a baby had a born a few weeks earlier and we had her siblings. She was being placed into state’s custody. The question was asked if we would be interested.

Well, in all honesty our first response was “oh, hell no!” I hope you took that lovingly and laughingly. I am not perfect but there is just no way another baby was going to take up residence in our home. I mean…we have 20!!

Then, I remembered the importance of prayer and divine revelation and inspiration. I knew the answer was going to be NO! but I wanted to not feel guilty about it so I knew I needed to pray earnestly for an answer. So I did. I immediately felt at peace with the decision.

I knew at the second I went to the hospital to see her. I picked her up, looked at her and heard this in my mind, ” This is what I was born to do.” So, we temporarily added a new little one with the hope she will be a permanent member of our family one day.

This has not been a decision that was made easily or lightly. It was not something that was sought after or desired. However, when you are asked by Heavenly Father to do a job, in my mind, you do it. There is no question.

I have had many doubts and some anxiety about this decision initially before prayer. I realized they were all rather selfish in nature. I want to travel more. I want to continue to work, have more freedom, sleep a little bit more, go to a movie, the bathroom, well I am sure you get the picture.

I guess what you don’t see is that I have been a stay at home mom since I was 20 years old. I graduated from college at 41 years old, worked for 1.5 years, stayed home and have now been teaching for 3 years in a row. I really struggle with knowing and wanting to be home but loving being a teacher too. At 48 years old, I should know who and what I am but I still struggle with my identity.

Anyway, I am willing and able to do that which is being asked of me. I feel like we all have a journey to complete. We all have a part to play and a role to fulfill. The very nature of why each one of us is here on the Earth is so profoundly different yet so beautifully the same. We all are here to learn and grow. We are all here to progress through what we need to do and learn so we can be who Heavenly Father needs us to be. Yet our ultimate purpose is to return to Him.

I used to think we should all be doing more to help children, more to help society, more to strengthen families, more and more and more. Now I am realizing that we each have a gift and our own journey. No one is the same. My path doesn’t make sense to many people. That is okay. I am sure some of your life choices don’t make sense to me either. The amazing part is we can share in each other’s strengths. We can buoy each other up. We can learn and grow by extending ourself beyond what we feel is comfortable. Whether we are helping and supporting or doing we need each other to be successful.

So, there you have it. How we are starting to become a family with 20 +1 kids.

3 things that bring you joy

April 16, 2018 by Cayce Leave a Comment

You got this!

The theme from an amazing conference. The speakers were beautiful and their words inspiring.

That leads me to a question I was asked. Name 3 things that bring me joy.

Now, I wanted to really think about this. I wanted to be sincere, thoughtful and heartfelt in my answer.

So I thought…and I thought…and thought some more.

I got my blue pen out. Opened my journal. I wrote these words.

3 things that bring me joy

1.

2.

3.

I couldn’t think of anything but the standard answers. So, I pondered some more. 

I realized I was really trying to make sure my answers were mine. I am a people pleaser. I often say what I think people want me to say. I wondered if I was really ready to put my answers there or if I was just being trite.

Hours later, I was still trying to find the 3 things that brought me joy.

Now, 2 days later…I am ready to put my 3 things that bring me joy.

*My husband, John. He truly brings me joy. He is my life. He makes me laugh. He helps me in so many ways. I can’t even begin to express how much I love this man.

*My kiddos…they are hard. I struggle with them. I have so many different feelings for them. Deep down though they bring me some of my fullest joy. The cuddles, the unconditional love, the running to me and excitement when they see me. I feel the most joyful hugging my kids.

*I don’t want to put the rest. I don’t want anyone to feel that I am ordering the things that bring me joy. Also, some of these are very sacred and special to me.

Here are some more of my quick thoughts: balloons, pinterest, my heated mattress pad, green grass, swings, butterflies, kids laughing, crayons, the smell of elementary schools, new socks, hot fudge sundaes and clean laundry.

The point was to think about what brings you joy? 

 

Cayce

Wife. Mom of 21. Grandma. Friend.Teacher. Daughter. Sister. Aunt. Great-Aunt. Niece. Cousin. Blogger. Epicenter of a life that is challenging, fun, inspirational, devastating, tiring, overwhelming, silly, mind boggling, busy, calm, enchanting and all mine!

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