Well, we thought we were done having babies in our home. We had settled comfortably with the fact that we are nearing 50, and we could now focus on on our grandchildren and raising those in our home.
Some interesting experiences started to happen though. We received a phone call that a baby had a born a few weeks earlier and we had her siblings. She was being placed into state’s custody. The question was asked if we would be interested.
Well, in all honesty our first response was “oh, hell no!” I hope you took that lovingly and laughingly. I am not perfect but there is just no way another baby was going to take up residence in our home. I mean…we have 20!!
Then, I remembered the importance of prayer and divine revelation and inspiration. I knew the answer was going to be NO! but I wanted to not feel guilty about it so I knew I needed to pray earnestly for an answer. So I did. I immediately felt at peace with the decision.
I knew at the second I went to the hospital to see her. I picked her up, looked at her and heard this in my mind, ” This is what I was born to do.” So, we temporarily added a new little one with the hope she will be a permanent member of our family one day.
This has not been a decision that was made easily or lightly. It was not something that was sought after or desired. However, when you are asked by Heavenly Father to do a job, in my mind, you do it. There is no question.
I have had many doubts and some anxiety about this decision initially before prayer. I realized they were all rather selfish in nature. I want to travel more. I want to continue to work, have more freedom, sleep a little bit more, go to a movie, the bathroom, well I am sure you get the picture.
I guess what you don’t see is that I have been a stay at home mom since I was 20 years old. I graduated from college at 41 years old, worked for 1.5 years, stayed home and have now been teaching for 3 years in a row. I really struggle with knowing and wanting to be home but loving being a teacher too. At 48 years old, I should know who and what I am but I still struggle with my identity.
Anyway, I am willing and able to do that which is being asked of me. I feel like we all have a journey to complete. We all have a part to play and a role to fulfill. The very nature of why each one of us is here on the Earth is so profoundly different yet so beautifully the same. We all are here to learn and grow. We are all here to progress through what we need to do and learn so we can be who Heavenly Father needs us to be. Yet our ultimate purpose is to return to Him.
I used to think we should all be doing more to help children, more to help society, more to strengthen families, more and more and more. Now I am realizing that we each have a gift and our own journey. No one is the same. My path doesn’t make sense to many people. That is okay. I am sure some of your life choices don’t make sense to me either. The amazing part is we can share in each other’s strengths. We can buoy each other up. We can learn and grow by extending ourself beyond what we feel is comfortable. Whether we are helping and supporting or doing we need each other to be successful.
So, there you have it. How we are starting to become a family with 20 +1 kids.
