I have a different version of what “life in the fast lane is”. Some days I feel like I am running a million different directions. I need to call about appointments, talk to teachers, arrange, arrange and arrange things.
Some days I feel like “I got this!”
Other days, I feel like “How am I going to survive this?”
Well, this week, we decided to take a little break and head to California for a couple of days without children. I sometimes need a break to help remind me why I do what I do. I also need the sleep and lack of responsibility.
Don’t get me wrong or misunderstand, I love my children and my family dearly. It is not easy parenting traumatized children some with mental health issues. It can be draining physically, emotionally and spiritually. I have learned that for me I need an occasional break to sleep all night, to lay around or be selfish and do exactly what I want to do for a couple of days. This refills my cup.
The fast lane is tiring. I don’t even take the time to appreciate what I have I am so busy scrambling to the next task, chore or problem.
I am telling you this because this morning something so simple yet heartbreaking happened. We have a little wayward dog named Cosmo. I swear everyone in the neighborhood knows him because he is constantly escaping and going in their yards, running around or out in the roads. We try and catch him but, he just runs faster and farther away. Well, this morning some of my family witnessed him being hit by a car and killed. The car didn’t stop and my husband had to pick him up and take car of him with the help of older boys. It made me think, “did I hug and pet him this morning?” “did I tell him to go lay down when he tried to cuddle?”
In reality, it also made me think “did I hug my kids tight enough this morning?” “do they know I love them?” “did I fully listen to them when they needed to talk?”
This simple yet traumatizing moment reminded me of what is most important in my life. I do need a break once in awhile (I don’t feel like there is anything wrong with that) but, I need to make sure my children know they are loved, wanted and heard.
Meanwhile, we are headed to California to visit some of my favorite people (Josh and Kelli, you know it’s you right?) and visit one of my favorite places (Disneyland) and Universal Studios and spend time with friends. We are refilling our empty cups.