the grass isn't greener
So, I have thought a lot about writing answers to the questions I am most asked.
So, welcome to my first series entitled “You asked…._________”
It is really easy to participate. You just have to ask a question and either John (if I can finally get him too) or I or both of us will answer.
Well….let the games begin. Ask away readers. Ask away!!
I wrote my husband a quick note of appreciation today and it really made me stop and think. So…here it goes!
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love that you do laundry. willingly!
I love the way you sleep with your arms all tucked up.
I love the way your blue eyes look into my hazel ones.
You willingly do your share more than a person should.
I love the way you laugh when someone starts laughing at something you say.
You are incredibly quick witted. It is fun to see you have a response before the person is even finished speaking.
Flowers are appreciated and every couple of weeks a new bouquet graces our counter, without me buying them.
You turn on the heater on my side of the bed well before I climb into it.
You think about ways to make my life better/easier.
You really listen to all of my rambling. I say my hands are cold and a new pair of gloves show up, for example.
You set up a spreadsheet or type computer things for me whenever I ask or you offer BEFORE I ask.
You make dinner every.single.night.
You don’t complain about my long hours, the work I do when I get home or me reliving my day.
You fill up the gas in my car when you get in and see it is lower than full.
You get me a Culver’s hot fudge sundae, because I need one every once in awhile.
You listen to my wild dreams and figure out ways to make them come true.
You love our children.
You love our grandchildren.
You look for ways to help people.
You listen to our older kids talk about their work day.
You video chat with our grandsons every day.
You gave me the opportunity to have you for eternity. That will be the easiest task I have been asked to do.
Really…the list could continue on for pages and pages.
That is how much you do for me.
Most important, you love me for me. My weight doesn’t matter. My grumpiness (while not pleasant) doesn’t alter your love. You support, strengthen and encourage me to dream big. You help me to realize I have value. I am worth your love and devotion.
I am so incredibly blessed we met at the airport almost 27 years ago. It started as pen pals and has continued to a wonderfully amazing life.
So, how do I love thee? There are too many ways to count. 
I had a few thoughts on Sunday evening that I have pondered and wanted to share.
For the last 15 years, Christmas Eve has been spent with our dear friends Adam and Kenice Whitaker. We have gathered together, had dinner, played the left/right game and had many laughs.
Over the years, as expected, our families have changed a lot. We started with 7 kids between us. As I sat and watched this year, 2017, I noticed we have grown to a family group of 32.
While pondering the group all around me, I realized that we were the parents of the group. We were the “old” people. I was watching the married kids talking and laughing about silly stuff. I remember when we were the silly laughing group.
This time, we were just the observers of the conversation. Of course, we were still having fun, included, laughing and talking but the next generation had become the center.
I am not sure if I am saying this correctly but I guess I realized that some of my children are adults. They have full lives that don’t revolve around me anymore. More and more I am trying to revolve around them. I am trying my best to still be an important part of their lives.
They are the generation that is going forward in faith. They will become the center of their siblings lives. They will be having these dinners without us someday.
However, for now, I am grateful to be in their universe. I am grateful watching them laugh, joke, hug and talk. there is such a satisfying joy in knowing my children are talking to each other, encouraging each other and supporting each other the best way they can.
One day, they will be sitting on the outskirts watching their children. I hope they will smile and say, “mom was right. This is one of the best parts of parenting.”
I am terrible at setting goals. I do great with them in my mind but I don’t like to write them down because then I feel more committed. I guess I should say, I feel more like a failure when I don’t complete them.
So this year, I decided to take a different approach. I wrote down 19 things that I wanted to improve on during the month.
Each day that I complete them, I will be able to color in a box, check it off or whatever…
This way, I am keeping track of where I am at and how I did day to day.
I am going to try this for a few months and then allow myself to tweak it if need be. So, I took a picture so you could see my goal sheet. I created it on excel focus areas. It wasn’t hard.
I think this will make me more aware of my habits and then I will be able to analyze where I can improve.
As you read these you can see some of my goals.
What are some of yours?
When I met John, I sure hit the jackpot.
Over the years, he has continued to support everything I do. Even when I have a particularly wacky idea.
Today is my 47th birthday. Now, I love my birthday a lot. This is not a secret. 😉 I am not sure how he manages it but every year is better than the one before.
Today, he has given me a present every hour.
They have been thoughtful presents that also let me know that he listens to me.
I am not sure what is coming next except dinner out is on the list. He really is incredible.
What you may not know is he does the grocery shopping, the meals, runs the kids everywhere, cleans the house and a myriad of other things. All the while maintaining a full time job and supporting my job.
A thank you seems so little for all that he does for me. So, I decided to write this post to help me remember all that he is doing.
I am grateful every day for picking up a pencil and writing him a letter. That letter has changed my life for the better.
He is an incredible blessing to me. I am also glad he gets me. He understands what I love and does his best to provide it.
I love you John. Thank you for another magical year.
Christmas break can seem long and lengthy for parents. Especially because with the change in routine, the crying and screaming usually commence.
Well, at our house we added in the stomach flu and some fevers into the mix. Now, on day 3, we are experiencing some really fun moments.
The kids are still trying to figure out our new routine and schedule but the crying is becoming less and the coloring and drawing are happening more.
As a teacher, I love the down time from work. I still bought some border for my bulletin board. I am still doing some planning and organizing. I am still using Pinterest to look up ideas but, there is no hurry or rush. It is fun to do when I am not having a time crunch.
As a mom, every morning #thecaboose, asks me to stay home from work. Now, I can say “Okay”. He is so happy and so am I. No rushing and quickly getting up in the mornings. The break is so needed. I love the cuddles, the movies, the laughter and yes even the fighting. It does get tiring and frustrating hearing it a lot. But, it also means my kids are alive and well.
So…today is day 3 of break. Now, is when it feels like it is going way. to. fast.
Thanks to my amazing husband, the presents are bought and wrapped. He has done it all and there is nothing to do before Christmas except anticipate and relax. (and hope for some snow)
What are you doing on your 3rd day of break?
A friend made a comment a couple of weeks ago about how we are attracted to light.
I have been pondering over this thought since she said it.
Light, light, light. I see it all around me.
Light is hope, light is security and light is within us.
I seek out the light like an insect does. I am drawn to it. Whether it is in the sky, in a person or in the lights that dot the nighttime around our neighborhood. I have always loved Christmas Lights. What is not to love right? Especially when they are blanketed with snow. But, I have drawn to them for a different purpose this year…they are light.
This year I am pondering the Light of Christ. I am again drawn to the Light He provides. Too often I feel darkness encroaching upon my life. I am overwhelmed with children’s choices. I am drained by the filth all around. I get caught up in what is going wrong rather than right.
My heart and mind are often deceived by feelings of inadequacy and non existent self esteem. I often struggle to pull myself out of the black tar of injustice, depression, anger and perceived hurt. Sometimes, I feel there is nothing I am doing right or good enough. I feel like I am drowning in darkness.
Then, I know I am going to make it through when I see or feel a small glimmer of light. Too often we don’t allow ourselves the time we need to seek out that light.
The Light of Christ is always within us but we do have to work to feel and see it.
The adversary loves to distract us from our goal of having the light with us constantly. We are consistently bombarded with things that detract from the goodness of the Lord.
When we do things that push us forward into the Light we have less cause for despair, anger and hurt. We instead are able to be focused and centered on that which is most important.
This is why we are drawn to the Light of those around us and the physical lights that help us to find our way in the darkness. If we continue to allow the small glimpses of Light to guide us, we will be able to enjoy more and more of the Light of Christ.
Regardless of religion, we all deserve to have light with us to guide us through the trials and hardships of life.
Where and how to you seek light? 
In the morning, my husband and I “quick clean” our bedroom. It is our bedroom but it is also an informal family room. It has two couches and 2 recliners and since it is clean, my kids spend a significant amount of time up here.
Every morning, our room is full of kids shoes and socks. Cups, bowls and food trash litter the floor. It is frustrating to say the very least. Well, a couple of days ago as we were cleaning, I saw my youngest shoes on the floor. Instead of getting upset, I just looked at these tiny shoes for a moment. I thought of the hugs and kisses he gives me each and every day. I thought of the chubby hands of my baby. I reminisced about seeing him in the hospital for the first time. I thought about his baby smell and the joy he has brought into my life.
Then, I reflected on several of my friends who have lost a young child. My heart was bursting with love for them. I couldn’t imagine their grief, loss and pain.
It really made me think about the blessing my children are in my life. Do they drive me crazy? Well, yes they do. Do I get frustrated? Too often to count. Do I think about how different my life would be without them? Yes. Do I cherish and love them despite their faults? Yes.
All of the sudden these little shoes took on a different meaning to me. They represented so much more than a pair of shoes I needed to clean up.
They are my reason for being. They are my mission in this life. They are the blessing I have of holding my sweet children every day. They are a reason for me to continually strive to do better. They are my eternal joy.
So, rather than pick the shoes up and toss them down the stairs. I picked them up and lovingly placed them in safer spot grateful that I had the opportunity to do so.
Cause you know what? They grow up. You begin to be less important in their lives. There will come a time that you will fight for their attention.
So, I decided I am going to be better and bask in their love and attention for as long as I can. I am going to cuddle more and argue less. I am going to cherish more and resent less. I am going to give more attention to where it is most deserved…to the little feet that are in my life.
Hey friends. I hope you know that you are doing better than you think.
You are amazing.
You are the person the people around you need. They don’t need me, they need you. They need your wisdom, your strength, your personality and your life experiences.
It is so interesting how we think other people have it better or easier than we do. The fact is, they don’t. They have it differently than you do.
We all have trials, we all have struggles, we all have something that is hard for us.
The trial is what makes us grow. It is what helps us to improve ourselves and our situation.
If things went well all the time, we wouldn’t progress in the way we need.
My life has been challenging. Some days I am excruciatingly exhausted. Some days I wonder if I am capable of handling all the pressure. Some days I wonder if I am good enough, strong enough and just enough.
I am and so are you. Slow progress is still progress.
I am enough.
I am doing better than I think I am.
Remember you are needed for what you can contribute to the people around you.
Not only are you enough, you are worth your best effort.
Smile. Find joy. Be grateful. Serve. Endure it well. You will have rest and you will be rewarded one day.
Have a wonderful week.
