So, these are probably not words any parent wants to say. Unfortunately, in our family, we have had to utter them multiple times. This is another aspect of parenting “special needs” kids that people don’t always understand.
Last night was a night like any other. We asked a child to hand over their cell phone and that resulted in defiance, anger and then rage.
When things kept escalating, the police had to be called to intervene. What do you do? How do you teach consequences yet try to protect and shield your child from any undue stress or harm?
It is hard. You feel like the bad guy even when you haven’t done anything wrong.
Who do you talk to? Who can you confide in? Who can possibly understand all the layers of emotion?
These are events you often want to keep close to your heart. You don’t want the judgement. You don’t want to have to deal with what friends or family may think. You certainly don’t want to hear “what did you think it was going to be like when they became teens?”
You want compassion. You need understanding. You crave an overabundance of love and extra support. Because trust me, I already am listening to myself judge me.
The fact remains, we love our children. We love them so much that we have decided to let them face the consequences of their actions. We don’t make them face them alone but, they are ultimately responsible.
We aren’t bad parents. We don’t have bad kids. We have choices being made and consequences following.
You may be struggling too. That is okay. Our strength comes from within. It comes from a well fed spirit. It comes from a loving Heavenly Father who strengthens us with love, compassion and understanding.
As a result of this event, others have taken a familiar path of despair, anger, hopelessness, grief and trauma related pain. Be patient with them too. They were triggered. They are a victim too. They may act out because they are experiencing 2nd hand trauma. This is real. It is a struggle.
We will continue to pray. We will continue to find the best ways to help our children. We will continue to fight for our family unit. We will not give in to the temptation of the world. Our family and our Heavenly Father comes first…ALWAYS.