So, my son Jacob was married on Saturday! All about that is in another post.
What I wanted to work through were my feelings on having his birth family in attendance.
Disclaimer: I knew they were going to be there. Jacob kindly asked our permission before they were invited.
I had no reason to worry or be upset by his BM coming. It was for him and that was fine with me.
They were in attendance and they were incredibly kind and gracious.
It was really hard to see his bio siblings upset. At first, they started crying, were angry and upset. (Their ages are 17,16&13 ) Then, they were resentful of certain requests. (i.e., family pictures) It wasn’t an easy time.
However, as the day progressed they were getting a little more relaxed and handled the tummy family better.
Then came the daddy daughter dance. I was asked to dance with Jacob for a mother son dance. Of course, I was thrilled but what happened next was really what made me grateful for so many reasons. This boy. The one who disliked me for years. The one who fought against the rules. He left a few times. This boy was angry about his circumstances and I was an easy target. This boy who valiantly fought against all that was good. He took me in his arms, started and crying and told me how much he loved me. How thankful he is that I am his mom.
Halfway through the dance, I invited him to dance with his birth mom. He politely declined and danced the whole dance with me.
So, I was okay with everything up until a certain point. There were some things that went on that were very hard for me to deal with. It really was okay but for some reason it grated on me a bit.
I guess the point of this is that I survived. I thought I would feel insignificant.I thought I would feel challenged. I thought I would feel that I wasn’t his mom. I was so scared that I wouldn’t measure up. I built this moment up in my head. I made myself out to be less than I am. My son sure showed me though. He showed me how much love and respect he has for me and I couldn’t have asked for anything more. He helped me to realize I have worth and value in his eyes. What mom could ask for more?