When we go through hard times, it can be so easy to blame those around us. Blame doesn’t do anyone any good. We just need to accept our role in what has happened.
I think sometimes we get too caught up in the blame game. We focus too much on what others are doing and saying. We let our anger, frustration and injustice prevent us from feeling love, peace and contentment.
We tend to hold ourselves to other peoples standards as well.
This is so unhealthy for our body and our minds.
We need to accept that we make the best decisions we can each and every day. Sometimes my mind is super “healthy” and I can be positive and say good things. I can take criticism with a grain of salt. No big deal. I can clearly see that people being angry and rude is not a direct reflection on me.
Conversely, when my mind is in an “unhealthy” place, I feel the anger and resentment is a direct reflection of who I am. I feel targeted. I feel emotional. I feel battered down by life. I feel unequal to the tasks at hand. I feel inadequate and worthless. (I personally tend to turn to food or sleep to help combat those feelings.)
Again, I think we make the best decisions we can based on where our brain is at that time.
It doesn’t serve us to collude with those around us. In other words, we tell people our problems and try to get them feeling the same way we do. We want them to voice their opinion that we are right and someone else is wrong. We want someone else to acknowledge that we are legitimate in our feelings and emotions.
It also doesn’t help us to dwell on what others may or may not be thinking about us. I struggled with this a lot in my 30’s. While I am getting more comfortable being me, I still think about it to some degree.I worry when people are mad at me. I worry that people think I am some psycho lady. 🙂 I worry about what people think about my family. Again, not as much as I used to but it is still there sometimes.
Think about your life. Think about what you have control over. What can you change? The only thing we can change is ourselves. We can use each experience we have to become the person we need/want to be. Change takes time. It takes years. However, it can and will happen. It will be hard at first. There is no doubt about that!! As we progress and strive to make the changes…eventually, it WILL get easier. Eventually our brain will be more healthy than unhealthy.
Eventually we will be able to look at situations for what they really are. We will see when someone honks their horn, because we are doing something they don’t like, it is not about us but it is about THEM.
We will see when someone holds a grudge or is angry at us it is not because of us but it is a reflection of their choice.
So, where do you see yourself? Who do you see yourself becoming? Where do you want to be in your life? Do you want to wallow in the self pity or take control of your life, your choices, and your actions?
Changing starts here. Changing starts NOW. Change is a continual process that has to start with the very first step. YOU!